Hello Stylish One!
Did I pique your interest? Yes, I’m about to explain what men and your closet have in common. Because how you do you closet is how you do everything, did you know that? Not only does this apply to the men in your life, it applies to your other relationships as well.
1. Good, Better, and Best
This is a principle that harkens back to my interior design days, and working with antiques. Take three very similar items, like a side table. Let’s say all are 18th century, just for kicks. One of our tables is definitely Good: it’s in good condition for it’s age and will command a couple thousand. Next is a table that has a few more flourishes, the details are more refined and the condition as well. This table moves us into Better and the five figures. But take the same style table and add a specific cabinet maker’s mark, exquisite details and condition…the Best at six figures. It always makes me laugh when I hear people say “but I saw one just like mine on the Antique’s Roadshow”, because many times there is a huge difference that only an expert eye can decipher.
Pair of Regency Card Tables, $35,00, 1stDibs.com
When I’m helping a client style their closet this is one of my favorite tools to use. Many, many things are ‘good’. In this country we’re inundated with good, surrounded by it, swimming in it. Good equals average. I don’t know about you, but there is nothing in me that wants to be average! Better is finding something you really like, maybe even something that pushes your comfort zone a bit. Best is the holy grail, it’s the item you get complimented on constantly, the one that speaks to your style soul and makes you feel awake and alive. When it comes to your closet, fill it with the best. That doesn’t mean you have to spend a bundle, you can find the best at Target, Zara, J.Crew, or H&M, as I often do. It’s about having the eye and knowing your Unique Style Archetype, and of course, what you love.
So how does this apply to men, and your relationships? There’s the Good (good = average) guy, he’s fun to hang out with from time to time, but you don’t have a lot in common and you know that you know this relationship is a dead end. Still he’s better than no guy, you say. Or is he? Maybe the average guy is taking away time from persuing your Better guy, or (gasp!) even Best guy. My advice in your relationships and your closet, get rid of the average so that you can fill your life with the best.
2. It’s All About Love
If there is one message I’ve been known to preach over lo, these many years, it is this: Buy What You Love. How many times have you heard someone say “Maybe I should buy this, I kind of like it”? Aargh! Similiar to the Good/Better/Best theory, tune in to the items you love and buy accordingly. Yes, you’ll still need some practical items, some needed basics that support your beloved pieces. Yet each and every day you need to be adorning yourself with Love, and items that you Love, Luv!
When shopping for clothes, or shopping for a man, it’s really all about the love. Don’t accept any less.
3. Get Rid
With so many of the closets that I align and adjust, my clients are agast at how many old, stained, ill-fitting and dated items they’ve let build up over time. They feel completely disconnected from their closet because it is no longer serving their style, their brilliance, or their life. This isn’t something to be ashamed about, it can happen to anyone. We evolve, our lives evolve, yet for many of us our closet stays stuck in 1995. Shopping for more stuff won’t fix this, it will only complicate the issue because you’re just piling more into a black hole. It has a band aid effect, you can wear a few of those new items for a while, but in the end you really need a major closet adjustment to release what’s no longer serving you in order to unleash your best style.
I think you know where I’m going with this. There are relationships of all kinds that have run their course. Does this mean we just throw men, or relationships away when they are no longer serving our ego? Nope, not saying that. I’m asking you to be aware of how the people around you interact with you and how you feel around them. Are they critical? Manipulative? Angry? It might be time to consider removing them, or at least taking several big, big steps back.
For my clients I recommend that they fill their closets with items that love and support them. And I recommend that for relationships too. Look for genuine people with big hearts that support you. And be one of those types of people as well. Let go of those that don’t fit you anymore. Bless them and release them if necessary. You can only blossom into your best, most amazing and beautiful self when you’re surrounded by those that encourage this flourishing, this becoming. You’re doing yourself, and the rest of the world a favor by unleashing the very best that you have to offer.
Need some help in discovering your best style, and aligning your closet? I offer a free 30 minute discovery coaching call where I’ll help you discover your Unique Style Archetype, and set you on your way to feeling more beautiful and confident!